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At some time or another every Christian has felt perplexed and discouraged because it appeared to them that their prayers were not being answered. David, the sweet singer of Israel, and a man after God's own heart experienced such times of difficulty. He begins Psalm 13 with these plaintive words:
How long O Lord? Those are the words of a discouraged man who feels that God isn't hearing or answering his prayers. Listen to him again in Ps.55:
Give ear to my prayer O God, Or again, consider the words of Psalm 88, "a Psalm of the sons of Korah":
But to you I have cried out O Lord, These few examples show us that to be perplexed by unanswered prayer is not a new experience to the people of God. The greatest of saints have grappled with this problem and felt keenly about it. I wanted to suggest some reasons why some of our prayers are not answered, for I think that if we see these reasons we may be helped and encouraged not to despair or allow ourselves to be cast down by the experience. Testing Consider first of all how God tests our faith and our earnestness by not answering prayer. This is beautifully illustrated for us in the incident with the Syrophenician woman recorded in the gospels. This woman came to Jesus with a prayer for the healing of her daughter (Matt.15) but Jesus does not answer her. When he does speak to her he does not at first grant her petition, he seems to put her off and deliberately discourage her. But eventually he does grant her request exclaiming "Oh woman your faith is great". Clearly Jesus had been testing her faith. He did not answer right away and grant her petition immediately so that he might see if her faith would rise to the challenge, and she came through the test wonderfully. Now it is true that in this instance the woman did not have to wait long, and most times we are thinking of prayers that are offered and perhaps months and even years later they seem to have received no answer; but the principle pinpointed in this incident is the same. God does test our faith, and he often does so by not answering our prayers, at least not at the time when we think they should be answered. He sometimes makes us wait long for an answer because he wants to see how persistent our faith is. Two well known parables in Luke's gospel point out the need to persevere in prayer. In Luke 11 there is the parable of the man who seeks a favour from his friend at midnight. But the friend has settled down for the night, he doesn't want to be bothered with the needs of the first man, But the petitioner keeps on knocking, keeps on asking, and Jesus says (v-8)."..because of his persistence he will rise.." Because the man kept at it, didn't give up, he got what he was after. The other parable in Luke 18 makes the same point. A woman petitions a judge; the judge does not really want to be bothered by her, but she is persistent! So the judge concludes he had better grant her request is rather than be wearied by her continual seeking. In giving these parables Jesus was not conveying the idea that God was reluctant to answer prayer. The spotlight is not on the judge or the friend who was settled down in bed; it is on the one who comes with the petition. It is their persistence that was met and their prayer was answered. Faith will make a Christian persistent in prayer. Though God withholds the answers from us, and though He might withhold it for a long time, yet faith must persist in seeking the blessing. The Bible says "he that comes to God must believe that He is, and that He is the rewarder of those who diligently seek Him" (Heb. 11:6). We must have faith in God, and faith in His promises, and we must understand that our faith will be put to the test. Nothing glorifies God more than faith. For one of His children to maintain trust and confidence in God even though they are being led through a dark and difficult way is something God delights to see. A faith which comes through testings and trials strong and triumphant is of great worth and value in the sight of God. It may well be that someone reading these words is experiencing a situation where prayers seems unanswered. God may well be trying your faith, refining it putting it through the furnace that it might be the more valuable and beautiful. My friend continue to seek; continue to knock; continue to ask. Persevere in prayer and do not be discouraged. Motivation Sometimes prayers are not answered because they are offered with a wrong motivation. James puts this before us very plainly: You ask and do not receive because you ask amiss, that you may spend it on your own pleasure. (James 4:3) In an earlier article I said that we ought to pray from a heart which desires before all else the glory of God. We must not think that prayer is a wonderful instrument intended to fulfill our every whim and fancy and provide us with everything that enters our heads and which we think we would like to possess. The question of motivation is a very difficult one to deal with. We have to really examine ourselves and search our hearts to see that we are truly God-centered in this area. It is far easier to make our outward behaviour conform to certain Christian standards than to keep our hearts, minds, thoughts and motives subject to the Lord Jesus Christ. You may pray for financial success, but you may pray for it because you covet luxury and possessions. In the history of the church there have been people whom God has blessed with great business success and financial regard. I imagine they have made their business ventures a matter of prayer, and the cause of Christ has benefited substantially because of them. But if a man prays for that kind of success because he has a worldly minded hankering after luxury and self-indulgence, it is unlikely that that prayer will be answered. Indeed for such a man to receive his request would be more accurate to understand it as a judgment rather than an answer to prayer. Again, a man may pray for gifts and abilities. The apostle Paul exhorted the Corinthians to earnestly covet the best gifts. There is nothing wrong with desiring gifts and abilities from God if you have a genuine desire to glory the Lord and bless His church. The trouble is that many pray such a prayer simply because they crave attention and a reputation. They want to be admired; they want other Christians to hold them in repute; they want to bask in the limelight and in the admiration of their fellows. But that is a wrong motive for prayer and God will surely not respond to such a prayer. Even in our prayers for the church and for the salvation of souls and the prosperity of a church we must guard our motives. It is possible to pray for those things - and who could argue with church officers praying for God's blessing upon the church where they labour. But be careful that you don't pray like that because we want to boast in your success and in that wonderful progress being made in your particular corner. Too much of that goes on in Evangelicalism these days:- "our church had so many professions of faith, and so many backsliders restored, and so many of this and that and the other thing". And there is a terrible boasting over other churches: there is a glorying in themselves, and it is sinful and horrible before God. You may be praying for more workers, and yet he praying for more workers because you are too lazy to do the job yourself. Motivation is important in prayer. We must pray for God's glory, with true concern for the cause of Christ and good of souls. We must guard against allowing “self” to push its way in as it so often does. Sometimes God does not answer because our motivation is wrong. What is best. Sometimes God does not answer our prayers because he sees that a "no" answer is the best for us. The classic passage is 2 Cor.l2 where Paul tells us that three times he asked God to remove the "thorn in the flesh". God never did answer that prayer in the way Paul had wanted when he had offered it, because God knew that that would not have been best for Paul. If Paul had not had this thorn in the flesh, whatever it was, it appears that he would have been lifted up in pride because of the amazing revelations which God gave him. And if he had become proud his usefulness in the cause of Christ would have ceased. Now there was nothing that Paul wanted more than to serve Christ well, and therefore God in His wisdom did not answer Paul's prayer. This is seen in every day life. Parents don't grant every request of their children. They refuse many requests, not because they do not love the child, but rather because do love the child and know what is best for it. A good parent is not about to give his or her child something which will ultimately hurt that child. Most children go through the stage of wanting to play with matches; they have seen the pretty flame which flares up when Mommy strikes the match. There would be nothing more wonderful to their childlike mind to play with matches and make lovely flames all day! So they ask Mommy if they can have the box of matches. If Mommy has any love for the child and any wisdom at all she will say "no". The child might cry; he might think that Mommy is hard and uncaring, but the truth is just the opposite. You sometimes cry when God doesn't grant your requests, and you are sometimes tempted to think that God is hard and uncaring. But that is far from the truth. God sees far more than you do; He sees things ahead that you have never considered. You must trust him to do what is right and best for you if you are His child, You must believe the many declarations of His word that tell you that He cares for you and is working all things together for your good. You must believe that His wisdom and love are perfect and that He will not make a mistake. Realize that sometimes the answer must be no, or at least "not now", and be content. Don't fret, but leave it with Him knowing that He does all things well. God or gifts? Finally, God leaves some prayer unanswered to see if we love God Himself or simply what he gives us. We know how parents sometimes say to Grandma and Grandpa, "please don't bring gifts every time you come to see the children, because we want the children to appreciate you for what you are in yourselves, not just for what you bring them". There is wisdom in that. We are all apt to be that way. Adults want their children to love them for what they are not just because of what they get from them. Have you ever considered that God has thoughts like that too? It is possible to have your attention taken up with the gifts rather than the Giver. God wants you to avoid that. This was in essence the accusation of Satan against Job - "does Job serve God for nothing"? Satan was insinuating "he is in it for what he can get out of it". That is why God permitted Job to go through the trials that he did. God does not want us to love Him simply for what we can get out of Him, He wants us to love Him for what He is, to desire fellowship with Himself, so that even if we were deprived of all earthly goods and comforts we could still rejoice in Him and praise Him because we love Him for what He is. Have you been more taken up with the gifts than the Giver? It could be that that is why God has not answered some of your prayers; He wants to wean you away from an over-attachment to things. He says "I am all you need; fellowship with me can make life truly worthwhile even without some of those things you think are so necessary. Get to know me some more". Unanswered prayer can have a real ministry in our lives. If they make us more aware of God Himself; if they exercise our faith and confidence in God; if they make us aware of our motives and inner thoughts; if through the discipline of unanswered prayer we grow in spiritual stature, then we can even thank God for them. Let us trust and not be afraid and have confidence that Jesus does all things well.
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